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February 2, 2011 / TerranceTheTrailerTrasher

Streisand Plays Jacks on Ouija Board with Kin

More bad news about Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy.

OUIJAMichael Bay‘s Platinum Dunes teams up with Hasbro and Universal Pictures for a supernatural action-adventure feature film that will center around the occult-based toy. To be written by the writers of TRON: LEGACY.

@ – My Ouija board says: if you go to this movie, there’ll be nothing to stop Michael Bay from making summer tentpole movies out of Silly Putty, the Slinky, Jacks, and Solitaire. Stop the madness.

MY MOTHER’S CURSESeth Rogen plays an inventor who goes on a cross-country trip to sell his new product and reunite his mother with her long-lost love. Oh, and his mother is played by Barbra Streisand. Starts shooting this summer.

@ – Sounds like the same dumb mainstream sitcom-ish movie we’ve seen a thousand times. And who worse to play the mother? No cinema will get my hard-earned dollars to sit and watch that gargantuan, ugly face on a screen for two hours. Curse you, Ben Stiller, for reviving Streisand’s acting career with those crappy FOCKERS movies.

THE TWO JACKS – A legendary filmmaker returns to Hollywood in 1992 after a lengthy absence to try to secure funding for a new movie. He boozes, seduces a beautiful woman and fights with studio executives. Director Bernard Rose (IMMORTAL BELOVED) adapted Tolstoy‘s short story “The Two Hussars.” Sienna Miller, Danny Huston and Jacqueline Bisset star.

@@ – As much as I like movies and filmmaking and IMMORTAL BELOVED, movies about filmmaking tend to be too self-indulgent to stick to a satisfying narrative. Already this sounds episodic, like a filmmaker saying, “Look at all these wild adventures this filmmaker gets into just to make his movie!” Doesn’t have enough promise for me to get excited about it.

KIN – Two sibling fugitives on the lam collide with the holiday homecoming celebration of an ex-boxer. Eric Bana and Olivia Wilde in talks to star in the crime thriller. To be directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky, who made the Oscar-winning foreign film THE COUNTERFEITERS.

@@ – This sounds like a really confused story. It’s supposed to be a crime thriller, but the set up comes of as more comedic, like it will have the tone of STATE AND MAIN or maybe FEELING MINNESOTA. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be rooting for the fugitive sibs. What did they do? And what are an ex-boxer or his homecoming or a holiday supposed to tell me about this? Weak.

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