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January 12, 2011 / TerranceTheTrailerTrasher

It’s a Musical about a Retarded Smuggler in an Asylum

Here’s four more movies in the works not to look forward to.

CONTRABAND – When a security guard runs into financial troubles, he decides to go on just one more smuggling run. Mark Wahlberg and Kate Beckinsale star in this remake of an Icelandic thriller. Ben Foster and Giovanni Ribisi were in talks to join them. Starts shooting this month for a March 16, 2012 release.

@@ – Let me guess, the smuggling operation will not go as smoothly as planned and he’ll be sorry he made that decision. I wonder if it sounded original to the Icelanders?

SAINT MARY’S – Supernatural horror involving an evil presence in an asylum. Michael J. Bassett has signed on to direct and will co-rewrite the script with the guy who created and co-wrote the original script.

@ – So really all they have so far is a movie that involves an evil presence in an asylum, but no script. Just an idea. They can’t find a script that’s already good to go and get behind that? An evil presence in an asylum does have some possibilities, but not enough to start hiring directors and building sets. It’s an okay setting, but not that great of a premise. If the script doesn’t work now, it probably won’t be fixed just because they all really want to start shooting it already.

PITZ AND JOEJosh Brolin plays a man with brain damage from an accident while his sister tries to coax him into believing again that life is worth living. Based on a play.

@ – Ugggggh! Please send this one directly to Lifetime. Desperate for an Oscar, Brolin is going the mentally challenged route that didn’t work for Sean Penn in I AM SAM or Juliette Lewis in THE OTHER SISTER. While the retards in those movies at least had something to prove (he wanted custody of his daughter, she wanted to prove she could live on her own), Brolin’s character will be satisfied to just learn that “life is worth living,” probably through some heart-tugging, feel-good, faith-based message. Gimme a break! Even the title sucks.

UNTITLED ROBERT DOWNEY MUSICAL – A pair of down-on-their-luck songwriters take counselor jobs at a theater camp. Robert Downey, Jr. and his wife are developing this musical with the composers of Broadway hit “Next to Normal” as a possible acting vehicle for Downey.

@ – IRON MAN plus CAMP ROCK equals less than the sum of the parts of THE SINGING DETECTIVE. And by the way, all songwriters are down on their luck these days.


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