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August 9, 2010 / TerranceTheTrailerTrasher

Somewhere

Terrance the Trailer Trasher – @

This has got to be one of the worst trailers I have ever seen. It doesn’t even look like a trailer. It looks like a commercial for some feminine hygiene product. It definitely doesn’t sound like a trailer. That song makes me want to slap someone. And then the name Sofia Coppola comes on the screen and it all makes sense. The most untalented filmmaker since Edward D. Wood gets to make another meandering, whiny piece of garbage that people will drool over just because she’s a Coppola. It’s the flimsiest of narratives, something about a spoiled little girl bonding with her estranged Hollywood daddy. Another excuse for the spoiled daughter of a famous director to pontificate on her own boring daddy issues through veiled fiction and try to make us watch it. The empress has no talent, but she does know how to cast her leading ladies. I’ve always found Elle Fanning to be the more talented of the Fanning sisters ever since “The Door In The Floor.”

Michael the Moviegoer – @@@@

You’re a total idiot and completely nuts! Doesn’t look like a trailer? Must every trailer look, feel and sound the same to you? Whatever makes this trailer different and sets it apart from the others is a clear suggestion that this movie will likewise be different. But in this case, different for me is a breath of much needed fresh air. Your dismissal of Coppola because of her name suggests an odd case of chronic jealousy on your part. Are you a frustrated or failed filmmaker, Terry, with a grudge against any truly talented artist who happens to have had an easier time than you due to Hollywood nepotism? Sounds like it. To compare the director of “Lost In Translation” and “Marie Antoinette” to Ed Wood is the height of stupidity and suggests a hidden agenda on your part. I hope our readers will see through your attempted sabotage of this film and go to see it when it opens.

Terrance’s Rebuttal:

Michael, you’re a pretentious moron with no taste or ability to have an original thought! Read whatever bizarre personal fantasies you have about me into my review if you want. At least I don’t automatically respond to any piece of pseudo-art put in front of me the way you do just because I worry I’ll look stupid if I don’t like what all the “critics” are saying is “good.” Hopefully our readers are smart enough to remember how fricking bored they were watching “Lost In Translation,” an experimental video of Bill Murray improvising through a non-existent story. The fact that you would cite the critical and box office failure “Marie Antoinette” to support your love of Ms. Coppola suggests you are the one with a hidden agenda. Do you watch “The Godfather: Part III” with a jar of Vaseline and tissues by your side?

“Somewhere” opens December 22, 2010.

We need you to weigh in on this debate. Is Ms. Coppola a talent worthy of her name? Or is she nothing but a lucky hack? Does this trailer make you want to see this movie?

Coming up next: The Devil gets stuck in an elevator in the new horror film “Devil” from a story by M. Night Shyamalan.

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3 Comments

Leave a Comment
  1. thejamminjabber / Jan 4 2011 10:16 am

    I love this format. Fantastic.

    I agree with those who feel the trailer is great. The film, on the other hand, not so much…

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